If She Only Knew
by Allenby Beardsley
Summary: Another angsty song fic. This time, not one with Allenby and not a Chib/Allen. Our poor Rose knight has to see his princess get married...to someone else and cope with the fact that it's his fault she's marrying another. Enjoy.


A/N: I was looking through some 98 Degrees lyrics that I had from their first CD and came across "If She Only Knew." (I don't know what's more embarrassing, the fact that I'm admitting that I used to be a fan of that group or the fact that I'm admitting that I still *own* the CD…)  I had once read a really sad Trunks/Pan (from DBGT) fic to it, and I wanted to try to write a G/ML one to this song.  Although, fair warning to everyone, VERY angsty, if you're looking for a happy ending one, don't read this.  I think this is pretty good, considering it took me less than an hour to write it, although it felt much longer.  Anyway, as always, read and review.  Ja!

DISCLAIMER: I tired, I'm pissed off at a lot of things happening in my life, and I don't feel go, so no sarcastic bad jokes this time.  Just plain, simple, to the point.  I don't own G Gundam.  There.  Now let me sleep you baka lawyers…  

**If She Only Knew**

George took a deep breath as he looked at his reflection in the full-length mirror that was in the hallway.  Gosh, he looked so serious, uptight…definitely not what he was feeling inside…or how he should look.  The medals and bulky navy blue cape attached to his formal uniform as a high-ranking knight almost weighed him down.  He turned around once he heard the door opening and gasped quietly in shock at who it was.  

"Good day Princess," he said with a small smile.  Marie-Louise smiled back at him and gave a slight bow as he made a deep formal one.  She giggled and stared at the knight with a cheerful smile on her face.

"Oh come on George," she cooed, still laughing.  "We're close enough to forget formalities."  

He got lost staring into her bright blue eyes and smiled at her lovingly.  She was beautiful; she looked like an angel sent from Heaven.  No, she was more beautiful than any angel.  Her long, flowing white satin gown seemed to glow on her.  Tiny roses were sewn into the design, as a sign of her proud heritage as a princess of Neo-France.  A shiny gold crown sat on top of her head of sunshine-golden locks of curly hair and kept her wavy veil in place. 

"Oh no, it just wouldn't be proper.  You're about to become *queen* of Neo-France."  She giggled some more and nodded.

"You're right."  She spun around once in her dress and smiled at him happily.  "What do you think?"

George fought back his blush…or at least majority of it and nodded in approval.  "You look beautiful."  She smiled again and told him thanks and sighed happily, clapping her hands together.

"Oh, and have you seen Stefan yet??  Oh, isn't he so great George?  I can't believe I'm finally *marrying* him!  Oh, it's a dream come true!" she ranted.  Inwardly, George flinched, but managed to keep a small grin on his face for her sake.

"Yes…that is great…"

**If she only knew

What I knew but couldn't say

If she could just see

The part of me that I hid away

If I could just hold her in my arms again

And just say I love you

But she's gone away, maybe she'd stay

If she only knew**

It was true.  Marie-Louise, the once young princess of Neo-France that he had sworn to protect, was getting married today…to Duke Stefan Locke.  While he was away, training for the Gundam fight, she met him…and they fell in love.  He cursed himself everyday for that.  Why couldn't he ever tell her how he felt?  Maybe it would be him waiting for her at the altar instead of Monsieur Stefan.  It was killing him inside now.  He loved her, he loved Marie-Louise.  He always did but was afraid to tell her.  Yet, he guessed and hoped that she always knew how he felt.  

**If she could just feel

What I feel here in my heart

She'd know it was real

Pure and true right from the start**

She needed someone to be there for her; he knew that.  And his status of a knight and Gundam fighter, who could be called at any minute to handle a situation, didn't allow him to do that.  She also needed someone not afraid of her father or anything to keep him from telling her how he felt…another requirement he couldn't carry out.  She was lonely, craving for someone to show, not only feel unconditional love to her.  

**But I'm just a man who didn't understand

What she was going through

But she's gone away, maybe she'd stay

If she only knew**

He was scared of her father; he was scared what he would do if he found out of his feelings for his daughter.  Since the beginning, he made it very clear that he didn't want him as anything more to his daughter than her protector.  He was also afraid of being alone, of rejection.  Marie-Louise was his whole world…he didn't want to do anything that might have even caused a *chance* of her leaving him.  Yet, now, as he awaited for her father to come to give her away to Stefan, he wish he could've had that time back…  He wouldn't have cared; he would have told her.  He would have told her a million times, yet, it was too late now.  Even if he had told her, she had already moved on and had given her heart to Stefan.  He had lost her forever…and without a fight.

**And how, how did I let her get away

'Cause love, love is so easy to feel

But the hardest thing to say**

He still dreamed of her as his, even now as they were awaiting her father to escort her down the aisle, he dreamt of the royal beauty standing before him walking towards him instead of that cursed Monsieur Locke.  Dreams of the two of them raising a family… bringing peace throughout their nation…growing old together.  Didn't she want this at one point?  Yes…yes, at one point, she was in love with him, but now, that time had passed.  If she knew about his heart's desires, would she run back to him?

**If she could just see

What I see when I close my eyes

All that I dream

Surely she would realize** 

"Princess?" he asked.

"Please George…just Marie-Louise.  I'm not a little child anymore; I'm not the little girl that would come running to you with every single problem I had.  I've grown up; I can make my own choices and solve my problems myself."  He nodded.

"Marie-Louise?"

"Yes, what is it George?"

His heart began racing.  Was he going to tell her *now*?  As she was fixing to marry another?  When he had no chance of ever being with her?  Surely he could tell her now.  He didn't want to lose…at least not without a fight.  Maybe if he told her, even now of all times, she might return to him.  

"I…" he began when her father walked into the room.

The old, proud soon-to-be-retired king of Neo-France smiled at his daughter and hugged her.  "Ah, my little Marie…" he cooed.  She giggled and left her father's embrace.

"Daddy, I'm not a little girl anymore," she teased.

"Yes, forgive me, but you'll always be my little girl Marie.  Now, shall we go?  We mustn't keep Stefan waiting," he replied as he offered his only child his arm.

"Yes, in a moment Daddy.  George wanted to tell me something," Marie-Louise responded and turned to look back at the knight.   

"George wanted to say something?" he questioned and looked to George with a suspicious glare.  Was he going to say something to jeopardize his daughter's wedding?  He knew the knight was in love with her, he could see it in his eyes every time he looked at her, but George had never told her either.  He could blame no one but himself for her finding someone else.

"What was it George?" she asked kindly.  However, George merely gave another low bow and smiled at her.

"I wish you all the happiness in the world Princess Marie-Louise," he said, and she smiled back.  Her father almost breathed a sigh of relief, and George began to walk out of the corridor to go to the chapel when her precious voice called out to him.

"George!  Thank you!"

"Adieu your majesties."  That said, he left for the chapel. 

He sat in the back at the church; he didn't want to be seen.  Besides, he didn't know how he was going to make it through the ceremony himself.  Oh, if only things had went out as he planned…  He was planning on retiring from the Gundam fight after this year permanently and picking out an heir for his Shuffle Crest and telling her father directly about his love for her…  But he was too late.  She had chosen another, and there was nothing he could do about it.

**But like a fool I waited much too long

To let her know the truth

She's gone away, maybe she'd stay

If she only knew**

Suddenly, the organ began to play the wedding march, and he stood along with the others to watch her walk down the aisle.  He hoped that she'd glance his way, just to see her smile one more time before she would become Stefan's.  But, her baby blues were locked onto the man waiting for her down there; she never even once looked at him.  He felt shocked and sadden beyond belief at the same time.  As the two held each other's hands while the priest was talking, he could feel tears falling down his cheek, but he did nothing to stifle them as he sat there, watching them, silently crying.  He could feel his heart shattering as the words "I do" escaped her lips.

**Tell me, tell me how

How did I let her get away (Tell me)

'Cause I guess that love 

Love is so easy to feel

But the hardest thing to say**

Slowly, George got up from his chair as Stefan began his vows and walked to the door.  His hand rested upon the slick wood as he paused there.  He turned around and took one last painful, loving gaze at her, smiling at her love, totally oblivious to the pain he was in.  "Goodbye my princess…" he whispered softly, still crying, and he left, knowing that she was the only woman he would ever love.

**If she only knew

What I knew but could not say

If she could just see

The part of me that I hid away

If I could just hold her in my arms again

And just say I love you

She's gone away, maybe she'd stay

If she only knew, if she only knew**     


End file.
